Reading 107fm: The Afternoon Blog Should she stick to playing the best music? We'll find out... http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/ Thu, 17 May 2012 09:26:55 +0100 en Copyright 2012 Reading 107fm G Media Airwave http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss KIDS ARE QUICK TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:       Here it is.

TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS:        Maria.

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TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER:  No, that's wrong

GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

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TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:     Me!

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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:        Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE:          I is…....

TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE:          All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'    

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TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.  

 

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TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER:   Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE :       No, sir.  It's the same dog.

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TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

 

HAROLD:       A teacher 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/223/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/223/ Uncategorised Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:53:18 +0100 HEAD FOR HEIGHTS

El camino del Rey

Originally built in 1901, this walkway now serves as an aproach to makinodromo, the famous climbing sector of El Chorro.

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/211/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/211/ Uncategorised Mon, 19 May 2008 13:33:46 +0100 Make you Smile  

 

Its ENDLESS LOVE for Bush and Blair - if only we all had time to be this creative on our computers eh!

 

Meanwhile our boys do at times get chance to let their hair down when they serve our country.....enjoy this...

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/209/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/209/ Uncategorised Thu, 15 May 2008 15:25:38 +0100 We've all experienced this....

 

This is awful and the funniest thing I have read in a long time ... Get a paper hankie, you will laugh until you cry!!

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that said course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to mess yourself' chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Whats on's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my
intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbours as thunder and lightning.

Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Asda grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a trolley and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the toilets that the pain hit me.
Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.

The habaneras in the chilli from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the toilets which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.

There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile smell might escape me. Slowly,
oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand
there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Big Mistake.

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a
few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the toilets, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mass explosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the loo, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my butt is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, ' Oh my God!', then quickly left.

Once finished I left the toilet, reacquired my partially filled trolley intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to
run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off
returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Home again without having shopped, I realised that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Tesco's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they're going to have to repaint the store

 

Still without tears - surely not!

Lots of love

Suex

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/195/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/195/ Uncategorised Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:58:45 +0100 COME DINE WITH ME Afternoon

What a fabulous chat with TV Researcher Ben Anderson who is currently on the look out for people from East Reading to take part in the next COME DINE WITH ME on Channel 4.

The cheeky chap wanted to know if you love dinner parties and are a great cook cos if you are you could be just what he's looking for.

Over four days four strangers from all walks of life, take turn to host the perfect dinner party for each other.  At the end of the week the most impressive host wins £1000. (I now wish I'd paid attention in Home Economics at school!)

If you or anyone you know would like to take part then call or email ASAP:

0871 200 3939 (calls cost 10p per minute from a BT landline, mobile and other network tates may be higher)

or email: comedinewithme@granadamedia.com clearly stating where you live.

Good Luck

Suex

 

 

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/177/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/177/ Uncategorised Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:02:12 +0100 RUBIKS CUBE Five year-old competes in the Rubik's Cube Championship in France
(APRIL 11, 2008)
 
 
And I can only still do one complete side - no, tell a lie I can do it all.........
by taking it apart and putting it back together - cheats version!
 
]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/176/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/176/ Uncategorised Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:38:52 +0100 DIRTY LINEN Hi there

Gripped again for week 2 of The Apprentice?  What were your highlights from last night?  Drop me an email sue@reading107fm.com

For me:

Alex and his Superman jamas!

Michael Sophocles' chicken dance celebration..

and the reason Jenny should be fired - "I've got an idea, Why don't we say everything is £4.99 - every item!"

Would you pay £4.99 for a pillowcase to be laundered!

The girls truly got their knickers in a twist!

Speak soon

Suex

 

 

 

 

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/156/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/156/ Uncategorised Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:07:55 +0100 YOU'RE FIRED Hi there!

Oh My Cod! Is Nicholas for real? Before being the first to be fired he said his only failure in life had been getting a B grade in one of his GCSE's - touch life then!

He also uses his grandmother's name De Lacy because he thought it was more sophisticated!

Really 20,000 applicants and we get these 16 arrogant, jumped up cringeworthy know it alls battling for the six figure job with Sir Alan! But I'm sure we're in for another excellent series!

The Apprentice's Nicholas De Lacy Brown

As for the other lot... Ian can't even bring himself to say the word 'loser', Jennifer rates herself as 'the best salesperson in Europe', Claire says she likes to crash through everything like her family's german shepherd dog and scary Sara doesn't like to beat her opposition, she likes to thrash them.

The first task - a load of fish to sell at a London market. Easy? Not if yo're an apprentice!. The teams struggled to tell their Monkfish from their Sea Breams and ended up selling the fish at a fraction of the actual value.

What did you think of the first episode? Who are your favourites and which of the candidates are getting on your nerves. Let me know - email sue@reading107fm.com and I'll your comments to the Apprentice Blog!

Thanks to Jim from Earley who said from episode 1 - "they should all be sacked if that's all the "entrepeneurs" we have in this country! It wouldn't have taken much to sit down for half an hour and sort out the pricing before selling the fish!"

Meanwhile Chris in Sonning said she couldn't bring herself to watch the You're Fired show with Adrian Chiles because Nicholas was just too annoying!

Sue x

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/147/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/147/ Uncategorised Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:23:00 +0000 IT's All in a Name Hi there, hope yuu had a good Easter..

Gorgeous girls are happier with plain guys

Every girl dreams of having a handsome hunk for a husband. As it turns out, she would be better off if she bagged a man who didn't look better than her.

And lending hard evidence to this finding are American researchers in Tennessee who carried out a study on this subject.

They found that for women, the secret to a happy marriage might lie in marrying a man who isn't as handsome as Disney's Prince Charming.

Psychologists found that among newly-wed couples, women with handsome husbands are more likely to be unhappy and have negative feelings about their marriage.

Professor Jim McNulty also had an explanation as to why most men who marry gorgeous women are happy in the background.

"Attractive men have more mating opportunities and are less satisfied and committed," the Mirror quoted him, as saying.

The study is published in the Journal of Family Psychology##

Your name may be your best chance to win fame and fortune!

If your name is Brian or Lisa, and success is what you aspire for, here's a tip for you, which can make all the difference: change your moniker.

According to a new study, names such as James and Elizabeth are strongly associated with success, others tend to be frowned upon when business is under discussion and snap judgments are being made.

The survey, conducted by Richard Wiseman, a psychologist from the University of Hertfordshire, was based on responses given by 6,500 individuals.

The project for the Edinburgh International Science Festival found that strong trends emerged, with Jack and Lucy the luckiest and Sophie and Ryan the most attractive.

Men called Thomas were rarely associated with business success or good luck, and along with those called George were the least likely to be considered good-looking.

"Traditional names with royal associations are viewed as successful and intelligent, and so parents hoping for successful offspring might want to avoid more unusual names. Attractive female names tended to be soft-sounding and end with the 'ee' sound, whereas the sexiest male names are short and much harder sounding," Times Online quoted Professor Wiseman, a saying.

"If you are making quick decisions about people then certain names will be seen as more successful and attractive. Those individuals will be given more of the time of day, the benefit of doubt and so on," he added

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/144/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/144/ Uncategorised Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:31:50 +0000 BLUE FOR A BOY... A wait like at the supermarket meat counter this morning.  It was a trip to the hospital for a scan and for our little boy to find out whether he was gonna get a sister or brother....

We took a ticket (like at the meat counter) paid a fiver for pics and waited for the scan.

All good and no need for a bigger house as they can share a room and no worry bout em coming home pregnant (unless the miracle of science has a major breakthrough!) - ITS A BOY!!!!

Also went house hunting.  What an experience....seems that Kirsty and Phil are out of favour with some.  One home was minimalist to say the least another well lets just say was a tad unloved..and when it comes to newer builds - does everyone with a garage own a Smart Car???

Spk soon...have a good weekend...I'm off to the Drayton Manor to experience the new Thomas Land!  Choo Choo!!!

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/124/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/124/ Uncategorised Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:17:12 +0000 A DRAMA QUEEN AT THREE Afternoon you...hope you're well...

Help.....I'm not good on no sleep!

I arrived home last night to find my little boy on the sofa crying uncontrollably....saying he had sand in his eyes.

He'd thrown sand into his own eyes, by accident, at the nursery....and then rubbed them.

He was convinced he couldn't open his eyes.  A worry for any parent - are they kidding or is it serious enough to call NHS Direct!?

We told him to go to sleep and it would be all right in the morning.  He had us up and down all night - still convinced he couldn't open his eyes...very DRAMATIC! Can't think where he gets that from says Daddy!

Eventually after about four hours continuous sleep he awoke and asked to get up.  He still complained his eyes hurt....and the only thing that made him open them was the threat of being sent back to bed.

All he wanted was to go to the Opticians to make him better.  He obviously enjoyed playing the games our optician played with him to test his eyes last weekend he thought he'd like to go back!

In the meantime mummy and daddy currently are like walking zombies...who also can't keep their eyes open - not through sand but general lack of sleep!

What have we done with another on the way! ARGHHHHHH..... No more sleep or sanity!

Lots of love

Suex

 

 

 

 

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/109/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/109/ Uncategorised Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:33:13 +0000 I'M A PINK TOOTHBRUSH, I'M A BLUE TOOTHBRUSH Monday evening I went shopping before I went home…on the list was a toothbrush for my boy….

On Saturday we were in the supermarket doing the shopping and he saw a pink one..and that’s all he wanted.  Fine by me – I have no colour prejudice – however my husband didn’t quite see my point of view….declaring it a girl colour!

But there was a fire alarm which meant we all had to leave the store…and as I was in a rush – we left the shopping and headed home…much to my son’s dismay who didn’t wan to let go of said toothbrush

So mummy promised to go back and get him another one  – which I did…. I arrived home and said “look what mummy has bought Nathan?"  - to which he burst into tears as although it was pink – it wasn’t the right one – it was 0-2 not 3-6 years – and he cried saying it’s a baby toothbrush….

So I’ve been the dutiful mum (slave) and gone back to the shop today to get another – after he changed his mind from pink to the dinosaur oscillating one – so he has a toothbrush like mummy and daddy’s – kids eh?!

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/91/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/91/ Uncategorised Wed, 27 Feb 2008 09:01:31 +0000 Circus Time - but not how we know it Today we took our boy for his first trip to a circus...infact as a family it was our first visit ever to one!

 What to expect....perhaps not this - a juggler who kept dropping his balls - he even attempted flame throwing and burnt his hand (thank goodness they took away the knives), English Flags a flying at the finale when the talent came from the Mongolian State Circus and Kazakhstan !  Ok granted a couple of British Acts but a shame that those from other countries could not show off their own!

Oh well....boy fell asleep before the end and so maybe we'll think again before we go to the Circus again!

We should have stayed closer to home and gone for the one in Reading eh??

Back tomorrow from 2 - speak then

Suex

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/83/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/83/ Uncategorised Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:06:04 +0000 The Jublee! A strange conversation over the weekend ...the Lloyd's had the James's over for dinner on Saturday night ( yes that Neale fella from Breakfast and his lovely wife). 

'im indoors cooked and I poured the drinks!! After a few glasses the conversation became fairly random and I brought up my memories of Jublees....not sure why.  You remember them?  The pyramid lollies of the 1970's/80's?

Well my other half and Neale thoguht I was pulling their leg and then I started to doubt myeslf.

However thanks to briefly mentioning them on the show this afternoon I knew I could rely on you to help.  Thanks to Lousie Lathbury who emailed this link to prove I wasn't totally mad....

http://www.calypso.co.uk/product.asp?productid=123

OK so the packaging isn't quite the same as I remember and I think it may have been spelt slightly differently but we are on the right lines....

thanks to Chalky for his text to say he remembered and to Martin from Calcot who assured me that they were around as early as the 1950's.  He remembers the Jublee van delivering to Dents the Newsagents iat the top of Henley Road in Caversham.

So I am not going totally nutty then..thank goodness!

Here's to more of your memories!

Speak soon

Suex

 

 

 

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/79/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/79/ Uncategorised Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:48:47 +0000 PULLING THE WOOL?? keep up a pretend ailment for a whole day??? 

As a parent you never truly want to believe your "baby" can have you as a fool...but at what age did your children start to put on ailments???  Our's is three...but is his real or just pretend??  Am I just a cynical parent?

Notice I'm not around this afternoon?  My boy decided that he couldn't get out of bed this morning because his right leg hurt!  A tall story we thought until we tried to get him out of bed.  He couldn't put pressure on his foot or bend his knee.  Daddy had to carry him downstairs and then try the "magic" cream and try some diversionary tactics to see if it was real or pretend...!! It seemed for real. 

We were like slaves to him...fetching and carrying his food, drink and toys to him on the sofa.  So there was nothing else to do but take him to the doctors.  He was examined and it appeared he had sprained his knee.  He was told to rest if for the day and to take the usual child ibuprofen.

So a day at home for mummy...with a patient who, frankly, has had me in stitches.  His knee had been bothering him but as the day went on..(maybe the ibuprofen was working) he seemed far more mobile and by around 4.30pm he was skipping! Bless him!!!

He seemed to forget all about his poorly knee unless I mentioned it..and then all of a sudden he would start limping and saying it hurt......

Don't suppose you know of any auditions for a child Dot Cotton do you???  An acting career he is definately heading for!

Anyway it's back to nursery tomorrow...and I'll see you at 2pm!

Happy Valentines

Suex

 

]]> Sue Lloyd http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/71/ http://www.reading107.com/blogs/the-afternoon-blog-854881/entry/71/ Uncategorised Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:41:47 +0000